How ChatGPT Helped My Son Outsmart the Bullies (and Love His Purple Shoes Again)
By the Numbers:
12 years old – The age where standing out feels both brave and exhausting.
0 hesitation – The amount of thought bullies put into their insults.
1 epic comeback list – All it took to turn tears into laughter and bring back the purple shoes.
Middle school can be brutal. Kids are trying to figure out who they are, and anyone who dares to be different becomes a target. My 12-year-old son? He’s tall, skinny, wears glasses and braces, and has his own style. He will never conform to the unspoken uniform of 12-year-old boys—Nike hoodie, Nike t-shirt, Nike shorts, Nike shoes. The Middle School Starter Pack™.
Instead, he walks his own path, unapologetically. Bright colors, purple, rainbows, sparkles, and anything Hamilton. He sticks out like a firework in a sea of beiges, greys and black. Which for some obscure reason made me think of the old Dirty Dancing quote: “No one puts Baby in the corner!”
No one puts MY baby in the corner.
Except, they do.
Every damn day.
The snide remarks, the eye rolls, the “Why are you wearing that?” side glances and shoves designed to chip away at his confidence. And yet, he keeps showing up as himself. Because that’s who he is. And if I have anything to do with it, that’s who he’ll always be.
When he came home yesterday, upset that kids at school were making fun of his new purple shoes (which he absolutely loves, because—like his mama—he’s obsessed with purple), my heart broke for him. They called him names, teased him for his glasses, and in defeat, he said, “I never want to wear these shoes to school again.”
I wasn’t going to make him. I know how relentless middle schoolers can be, and I also know how exhausting it is to be the kid who stands out when all you want is to just exist in peace. I gave him the usual pep talk about not letting their words steal his glimmer, about how bullies only go after people who shine—blah, blah, blah. But I could tell none of it was sinking in.
So I took it up with ChatGPT.
I asked: “Please can you share some good burns against bullies who make fun of my son for his glasses and call him a Nerd, and make fun of his purple shoes?”
And ChatGPT DELIVERED:
Glasses Insult Comebacks:
👓 “Oh no! I can see clearly, and you’re still here?”
👓 “At least my glasses help me see the facts—like how bad your jokes are.”
👓 "My glasses help me see. Too bad nothing can fix your attitude."
Nerd Insult Comebacks:
🧠 “Thanks! Nerds run the world, so I appreciate the compliment.”
🧠 “Oh no, not the ‘nerd’ insult! Next, are you gonna call me smart too?”
🧠 “Hey, at least I have the brains to back it up. What’s your superpower?”
Purple Shoes Comebacks:
👟 “Haters gonna hate, but at least I’ve got style.”
👟 “It’s not my fault you don’t have the confidence to rock color.”
👟 “Mocking shoes? Wow, must be a slow day for insults.”
We were soon HOWLING with laughter. It was exactly what he needed—humor, confidence, and the realization that bullies don’t deserve his energy. The mood in the house completely shifted.
I also appreciated Chat's advisory message:
The goal is to give your son a confident response that doesn’t escalate the situation but shows that he’s unfazed. And if the bully keeps going, sometimes the best move is to shrug and say, “You done yet?” and walk away.
Got it. Thanks!
We moved on to homework and dinner, no more talk of mean kids or dumb insults. Then later, as I tucked him in for bed, he grinned at me with his amazing, purple-braces-filled smile and said:
"I can’t wait to wear my purple shoes to school tomorrow!"
💜 ChatGPT for the win! 💜
Lessons Learned:
Sometimes, laughter is the best armor, especially when dealing with middle school bullies.
Confidence isn’t about ignoring the haters; it’s about owning who you are, purple shoes, braces, glasses and all.
ChatGPT might not solve every parenting challenge, but on this one? Total win.
P.S. In case anyone was wondering, I let my #2 review and edit this before posting it, privacy and all and it is his story to share. He enjoyed the process, made a few tweaks and giggled in parts. He didn't understand the "No one puts baby in the corner" reference but I assured him that the few people who will read this have seen Dirty Dancing....and if they haven't, then that is a bigger problem. He was excited to get this story out into the world, to let other kids know that they are not alone in their quest for a civilized middle school experience. Not. Gonna. Happen. But dare to dream, am I right?
Gah, is this my favorite one yet? I said that about the last one! Eyes watered a bit, not gonna lie. Love the meaningful messages tossed with humor. Wearing my brightest shoes today.
Catching up on my MAM substack! I love all your musings, they make me smile, nod and say OMG yes!!! This share was super touching. I’d never have thought to use ChatGPT and some of those comebacks are zingers. I’m laughing all the way J at the haters who, “…don’t have the confidence to rock color.”