When Weak Men Try to Look Strong: Trump, Zelensky, and the Art of the Bully

Before we dive in: this one's political, friends. If that's not your jam, feel free to jump to the end for a Mum Moment or delete and stay tuned for the next edition of The M.A.M Diaries—no offense taken, I just felt this couldn't be ignored.

When I started this Substack, my intention was to add some levity and humor into your inbox every week. I wanted to focus on life’s absurdities, midlife crises, parenting fails, and everyday moments that make us laugh, cry, or want to hide in the closet with a bag of crisps.

I deliberately chose to avoid diving too deep into the doom, gloom, and despair of the political landscape, because let’s face it, we are drowning in it. I wanted to be the sugary dessert in your media diet, not the terrifying, burnt-to-a-crisp main course.

And then that Oval Office meeting happened.

President Trump attempted to humiliate a leader of a country at war—a man who has demonstrated more courage, resilience, and leadership in the past three years than Trump has in his entire life.

Zelensky has witnessed horrors we can’t even fathom—entire cities reduced to rubble, families ripped apart, children growing up under missile fire. And yet, in a moment that demanded diplomacy & thoughtfulness, Trump & Vance opted for bullying, posturing, and aggressive, mean-spirited threats. It was a display so nauseating that even some of his usual enablers seemed uncomfortable. But for those of us who have ever dealt with a bully, it was textbook behavior.

The Psychology of a Bully (And Why Trump Checks Every Box)

1. Insecurity Masquerading as Confidence

Bullies are often deeply insecure. They compensate for their own self-doubt by tearing others down, using mockery and humiliation as weapons.

Trump’s Oval Office performance was just that: an insecure man grasping for dominance. His comments to Zelensky were not those of a leader offering support, but of a schoolyard thug making sure the smaller kid knows his place:

“You’re either going to make a deal, or we’re out.”

Translation? Do what I say, or I’ll let your people die.

“You’ve allowed yourself to be in a very bad position…You don’t have the cards right now.”

What he really means: I will sit here in my gilded tower and tell you how bad your situation is while offering you absolutely nothing.

2. Fear of Losing Control

Bullies crave control and lash out when they feel it slipping. Trump has spent years surrounding himself with sycophants and yes-men, ensuring that no one dares challenge him.

JD Vance, who clearly felt like he hasn’t been getting enough attention, demanded Zelensky thank Trump like some kind of medieval court jester seeking approval from the king. “Have you said ‘thank you’ once this entire meeting? No. In this entire meeting, have you said ‘thank you’?” This is coming from someone who once called Trump an "idiot" and said he was "reprehensible." Privately, he compared him to Adolf Hitler. But now? Now he grovels, eyes wide with forced loyalty, desperate to prove his fealty.

And then, there is Marco Rubio, who once called Trump a con artist, sat there, like a wounded hostage, watching the spectacle unfold, his dignity evaporating faster than a popsicle in Florida heat.

3. Projection & Deflection

Bullies refuse to take accountability. Instead, they project their own failures onto others and blame external enemies.

Trump’s record is littered with failures, scandals, and criminal indictments. His response? Always the same: it’s a witch hunt, a deep-state conspiracy, the fault of the media, Obama, or some other imaginary boogeyman.

His Ukraine stance is no different. He doesn’t care about saving lives, restoring peace, or helping a democracy under siege.

He only cares about being “the guy who made a deal.” Not a good deal, not a just deal—just a deal with his name on it. The only deal he has ever made is one with the Devil, selling out democracy for personal gain and power, while leaving a trail of destruction in his wake.

4. Envy & Resentment

Some bullies attack because they feel threatened by those with qualities they lack—integrity, intelligence, respect.

Zelensky is widely respected. He’s been compared to Churchill in wartime, and his approval ratings in Ukraine remain high despite the immense hardships his country is facing.

Meanwhile, Trump is obsessed with being liked, yet he will never be admired the way Zelensky is.

This, more than anything, is what probably eats him alive.

How to Handle a Bully Like Trump

1. Refuse to Play Their Game

Bullies thrive on reaction. They want anger, submission, or fear. Zelensky refused to give him any of it.

Zelensky: “I’m not playing cards. I’m very serious, Mr. President. I’m the president in a war.”

Translation: Sit down, Donald. The adults are talking.

2. Speak Up

Silence only emboldens bullies. Call them out, expose their tactics, and don’t let their behavior become normalized.

Former Rep. Adam Kinzinger put it best:

“You see, Trump depends on fear. He builds his whole image around being "strong," "tough," a supposed champion of the "common man." But strength doesn’t come from endless bullying, degrading insults, or an ability to throw temper tantrums every time he doesn’t get his way. That’s not strength; it’s weakness. Real strength means standing up for the truth even when it's hard, even when it costs you. Trump has never had the courage to do that. I have.”

Read the whole article here

3. Expose the Pattern

Bullies thrive in chaos and distraction. They count on people forgetting their past behavior and failing to connect the dots.

• The cruelty to allies? Not new.

• The praise for Putin? Not new.

• The strongman posturing while dodging accountability? Not new.

• Lying to the press and the public? Absolutely not new.

Call it what it is: a pattern of behavior that shows exactly who he is.

4. Build Resilience

The best way to fight back? Strengthen yourself and others.

When the cameras turned off, the global response was swift and furious.

Yes, the MAGA voices celebrated his “toughness,” but the overwhelming majority condemned his behavior. Even European leaders stepped up, reaffirming their support for Ukraine. You can read more about that here.

In trying to humiliate Zelensky, Trump only made the world more determined to stand by him.

Final Thought: The Arc of History Bends Toward Justice

Every bully meets their reckoning—eventually. Whether it’s losing credibility, isolation, or legal accountability (oh, how we wait), their power is never as solid as they think.

Zelensky walked into the lion’s den and walked out with his dignity intact. Trump, on the other hand, remains a small, insecure man who mistakes cruelty for strength.

And if history tells us anything, the real leaders will outlast the bullies every time.

OK, therapy rant over. Thanks for sticking with me—now back to my Mum Message.

Raising the Next Generation to Stand Up to Bullies

Raising teenagers is no easy feat, but I can tell you now that I would be immensely proud if my boys grew up to have half the integrity and courage that Zelensky has. Every day, I try to teach them that strength isn’t about who can yell the loudest or push people around—it’s about standing firm in your values, even when it’s hard.

I want my boys to understand that true leadership isn’t about dominance or fear but about integrity, accountability, and the courage to do what’s right, even when it’s unpopular. And yes, I’d much rather they admire someone who stands up for democracy than someone who treats it like a business deal gone wrong.

Franklin Roosevelt said, “Knowing what's right doesn't mean much unless you do what's right.” That is probably one of the most important lessons we can impart to our kids. They are our only hope for a better future. And if they ever find themselves in a situation where they have to stand up to a bully—whether in the schoolyard, the boardroom, or, God forbid, politics—I hope they do it with the same unshakable resolve as Zelensky (but maybe with fewer cameras in their face).

Clay Bennett's Times cartoon for March 1, 2025.